Don’t You Want to Know??
Okay hear me out, I keep thinking about this question lately:
Don’t you wanna know?
Don’t you wanna know what’s actually in the way of your life to the fullest?
Not in a shamey “fix yourself” kind of way.
Not in a “become a productivity machine” kind of way.
I mean genuinely.
I have a good friend who thinks life coaching is ridiculous. (It’s fine, we love each other.) They just don’t get it, and think hiring a cheerleader for being human is silly. I don’t even argue, I get that it doesn’t make sense for someone who hasn’t truly felt stuck.
But I have. And all the healing work in the world just had me spinning until I began to partner it with building what I discovered I was passionate about. And I needed support to figure out how to move toward that.
It was the BEST decision I’ve ever made.
Don’t you wanna know why part of you longs for more life, more connection, more creativity, more joy… while another part of you feels exhausted, avoidant, frozen, overwhelmed, disconnected, or afraid?
Friend, you are not lazy.
You are not broken.
You are carrying stories, patterns, nervous system adaptations, emotional wounds, and protective strategies that once made perfect sense.
And often, the very thing that is “in the way” is actually a part of you trying to protect you.
Here are some of the most common examples I hear:
1. “It doesn’t feel safe to fully be me.”
This person learned, somewhere along the way, that authenticity came with risk.
Maybe they were criticized.
Maybe they were emotionally neglected.
Maybe they became the “good one,” the achiever, the caretaker, the peacekeeper, the performer.
Now, even though they consciously want more freedom, creativity, intimacy, or visibility, their nervous system still associates being fully alive with danger.
So they overthink.
Numb out.
Procrastinate.
Stay small.
People please.
Disconnect from their own desires.
Not because they’re weak. Because their body learned protection before expansion.
2. “I became so focused on survival that I lost connection with myself.”
Some people are not blocked because they lack ambition.
They’re blocked because they’ve been carrying too much for too long.
Stress.
Caretaking.
Trauma.
Burnout.
Chronic anxiety.
Financial pressure.
Religious pressure.
Emotional pressure.
When the nervous system spends years trying to survive, there’s often very little energy left for curiosity, creativity, play, embodiment, or dreaming.
These are the people who say: “I don’t even know what I want anymore.”
And honestly? That makes sense.
A dysregulated system often prioritizes safety over aliveness.
3. “I secretly don’t believe my desires are possible for me.”
This one breaks my heart a little every time.
So many people have beautiful desires buried underneath layers of disappointment, shame, fear, comparison, or learned helplessness.
At some point, they stopped trusting themselves.
Stopped trusting life.
Stopped believing they were allowed to want what they want.
So instead of moving toward their lives, they stay in analysis. Fantasy. Perfectionism. Cynicism. Waiting.
But your desires matter.
Not every impulse. Not every coping mechanism. But the honest desires deep in your heart you are uncovering, decoding and moving toward.
As far as healing goes, healing is not just about reducing symptoms.
I think healing is about becoming more available for your actual life.
More connected.
More honest.
More embodied.
More alive.
More capable of receiving love, rest, creativity, meaning, connection, and joy.
That’s a huge part of why I created The Heal/Create Collective: a six-week group experience for women where we explore emotional health, nervous system patterns, identity, creativity, healing, authenticity, and the stories that shape our lives.
Not from a place of shame.
From curiosity. Compassion. Connection. And possibility.
Because maybe the goal isn’t becoming someone else.
Maybe the goal is finally becoming safe enough to fully be yourself.
And don’t you wanna know what becomes possible then?
— Court